Awake
by eloquentfever
Summary: An adorable fluffy Klaine one-shot written during 3x05 on the request of xoRosexo. "Blaine wants to have sex, but Kurt is more than just a bit hesitant, which leads the Warbler to questioning the true source of Kurt's dismay." Mindless cheese.


_Ohai I got my first request thing so here it is, my loafs. This has been written for xoRosexo and YES, I do in fact take requests or so my profile states and as long as it states that, you can request, though I'm not very well with this fluffier things. I despise warm feels so because I write shitty fluff. So unfortunately, Rose, this is shitty fluffy warmth with just a bit of speculation. _

* * *

Title: Awake  
Rated: +13 – language, sexual references, cuteness, yes, there is a sex scene at the end but it's very vague and I don't think it goes up to an M-rating to be honest  
Summary: an adorable fluffy Klaine one-shot written during 3x05 on the request of xoRosexo. "Blaine wants to have sex, but Kurt is more than just a bit hesitant, which leads the Warbler to questioning the true source of Kurt's dismay."  
Genre: Romance

* * *

In this darkness, Blaine's hair teetered against a shade of ebony that was far too delicate for words. Kurt's fingers truly enjoyed being woven through those delicate sultry-coloured locks. Blaine would part his lips; show only a silver of those beautiful white teeth. His bottom lip was salivating with a subsequent amount of desire, a desire that Kurt had immeasurably created with his hands, and his hands that were rubbing against Blaine's hips. Blaine decided to return the favour by allowing his hands to slip across that lovely waist.

In a fit of long-drawled kisses, Kurt had only moments to catch glimpses of those dark eyes. They looked like stars in those glimpses, a whole new dark universe with an entirely gorgeous cosmos exploding with every single kiss. Had the world began with a bang? It will end with just a whisper, a very soft whisper Blaine would purr against those moistened lips.

Blaine's hand was still around Kurt's waist, when they parted. In signature assessment, they stared into each other's eyes to tell how it had been – such a strange thing, to be able to tell from a meagre twinkle or sparkle or shimmer of each other's mirrored reflective eyes. Blaine had laughed to break a beautiful tension in the air, and then had they collapsed, Blaine on top of Kurt, and his head pressed up against the warm dressed body. Blaine's fingers wove through Kurt's hair – he did not need to see where his fingers were leading to anymore, because almost on instinct had they found that far familiar delicate hair that Blaine loved to run his fingers through.

Blaine had been thinking again. Kurt can always tell when his lips were pursed in _that_ way, and his eyebrow arched in _that_ way.

"What now, Blaine?" Kurt poked at his shoulder to try and snap his boyfriend out of the deep reverie he'd managed to pull himself into. Blaine had only answered at first with a toothy grin and then wiggled his eyebrows as if to proclaim his pride for _that_ way that he thought with.

"Oh, _nothing_," a wistful Blaine hummed to himself as if he'd been retelling an old song.

"Nothing my tasteful ass," Kurt murmured. Kurt's breath was hot; the kind of heat that made Blaine aware of his own colder body temperature, the kind of heat that sent his spine shooting in a sweet electric pulse generated by just that breath. It was the equivalent of the first spoonful of creamy hot mushroom soup on wintery evenings or so Blaine would recall. "Blaine Anderson, are you _lying_?"

Blaine suppressed a laugh, as he shook his head with those eyes glittering with good humour. "Well, Mr Hummel, _lie_ is too strong of a word," a good-nature Blaine had simply pointed out with a twitch of a smile a appearing on his lips.

"I was taught to believe that lies are things that are _not_ true, and whatever it is you're thinking of is not _nothing_," Kurt chimed in the light argument.

Blaine stayed in the silence for a subsequent amount of time. Kurt believed it was because the raven-haired boy was thinking of a lovely come-back, but his eyes were back into _that_ colour, his eyebrows arched in _that_ way and his lips curling in _that_ way. Blaine was thinking again. The silence lasted for only seconds but still felt like a cold long eternity in its deafening defiance.

"Kurt, I want us to have sex," Blaine simply stated his own personal opinion and then arched his eyebrow, completely serious. The good humour had left and in its place were those grave darker eyes – his hazel eyes appearing brown away from the light as he moved towards Kurt. "…do you?" he added on, his voice a bit softer than usual.

Kurt managed a thick sigh, causing Blaine's hands to fumble with his iPhone cover just to relieve some of the anxiety coursing through his veins. "I'm not…quite ready," Kurt murmured as he placed a hand on Blaine's hipbone, running a finger across the bone. Blaine knew this action, this particular action Kurt did when he was lying.

"Lying, are we?" Blaine teased him.

"I'm not _lying_," Kurt defensively spat out and this only confirmed what Blaine believed, that Kurt was indeed lying or at least concealing some part of the truth. Kurt's eyes were edging on the icy shade of a frustrated blue, and Blaine should not find his heart still melting at those shades of blue Kurt's eyes burned into whenever he shifted just a second of emotion. Kurt would never realise how much of a give-away his eyes were sometimes, as his negative body language right now. "Besides, it's lie too strong of a word according to someone?" now, Kurt's lips twitched into a softer smile, trying to transition back into their cot of airy love.

Blaine resigned back to the earlier atmosphere with a tremble of his lips into a smile, as he said, "But I thought anything that wasn't true was a lie. Or so a certain fashion-obsessed—"

"_Fashion-forward_," Kurt cut him off before he even progressed with self-righteous eyes making his pale face a rosy colour. His wonderful beauty managed to swoon Blaine again.

Blaine shook his head and stood up. Kurt's mind travelled with the emotion of confusion at x metres per second as Blaine had picked off the incredibly long dark-coloured spring coat from the chair's arm. He buttoned the black buttons, and wrapped the belt loosely around his hips. Kurt found it exceptionally adorable when Blaine chose coats over jackets, enhancing just how short Blaine was compared to Kurt. Kurt had joined in, grabbing his own beige spring coat. The gloomy colours of Blaine's coat and trousers clashed with the beige brown colours of Kurt's coat and pants. They wrapped scarves around each other's necks, grey for Blaine and white for Kurt. Kurt had never asked where they were going; just that when Blaine had nodded his head towards the doorway, Kurt knew he wanted Kurt to walk with him. Keys were snatched from a neat bedside, and a messenger bag was thrown against a shoulder as the two walked in constant speed of each other. The sound of silence broken with the _thump thump thump_ of their boots as they left downstairs. The air was colder today than it had been in the rest of the days.

"You are a strange, strange boy, Blaine Anderson," Kurt had murmured when they were outside after a signature _I'll be home before eleven _promise he'd given to Burt, as they'd left, hands in their pockets, as they walked with no sense of direction, just for the purpose of walking. "Where are we walking to anyway?" he finally asked.

Blaine just shrugged after some time. "Just for the sake of walking," he finally admitted, as a lively smile found its way to Blaine's lips. "I _am_ strange, Kurt."

"I realised this long ago, Dalton boy," Kurt simply replied, as the empty sidewalk had suddenly descended into a not-so-empty sidewalk, a crowd of people walking from sidewalk to sidewalk, across the street, down the street, and so. Blaine's eyes brightened significantly as Kurt groaned. "How can you be happy about squeezing in the middle of _people_?"

Blaine laughed. "Kurt, you do realise that this is the best way to fit in. You're walking down with no direction or purpose. Nobody can stop and point at you as hard as you try. You're just another person. They don't know your story, or who you are. You just kind of blend in," Blaine simply explained as he pulled out his hand to grab onto Kurt's before crossing the sidewalk.

Kurt was simply shaking his head, not wanting to try out Blaine's little experiment, afraid he'd be gawked at and that was not what he felt like at this time of the weekend. "If I was Rachel, I would've gone at you for thinking that I'm the same as any of these people because we're apparently _stars_," he rolled his eyes at this certain quality of Rachel's and Blaine found his hand grabbing onto Kurt's. Kurt was aware of the warmth of his hand as they walked towards the Lima Bean. Kurt's eyes passed by each person. They weren't even looking at them, much less had a fraction of a second to judge them and this allowed Kurt's anxiety to melt.

"_You're the greatest star_," Blaine said in a sing-song voice causing Kurt's cheeks to colour.

"Can it, Anderson," Kurt finally said, but he felt nice to be just normal, someone that nobody gave a fraction of a thought about. They walked into the Lima Bean and then Kurt's hand had pulled away from Blaine's. Their eyes met with each other in collective love, as Kurt just shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me. That was nice, though I must say you need to put your hand over a stove, Blaine because I swore I was holding the hand of a snowman."

Blaine shrugged before smirking. "You thought I really wanted to show you that we weren't going to be judged out there in the open with all those people passing?" his eyes were glittering in a jokey way, 'definitely not. It's because I wanted to steal all your heat energy."

"Well, you succeeded," Kurt had said, moving towards the counter.

Blaine stared at him as a blonde and her friend ordered whilst Kurt stood in line, looking over the special offers they had pinned up to the wall behind the counter. "Have you ever had a dream so vivid that when you wake up, you actually believe it's happened?"

Kurt thought back. "A few times," he murmured. "The worst was this dream that I was half-dragon. I had promptly checked my hands repeatedly to make sure that I did not gain any scales, and that my breath wasn't made out of fire."

Blaine shook his head, and then finally said. "I'm honestly just waiting to wake up and find myself in that hospital cot after Sadie Hawkins half the time," with this confession, Kurt's smile dropped as he ordered for Blaine. Now, Kurt's eyes were wandering, in a shade between blue and grey – Kurt was thinking again.

"What is this time, Hummel?" Blaine jovially asked but Kurt didn't snap out of his reverie until he was in front of the line and only then had he remembered that he was supposed to order. He had ordered in a more-so alert voice than normal, making Blaine's voice drop. Whatever was itching at his beautiful angel's heart was making him fidget for those few moments as he'd ordered. He'd gotten the order card and they sat down together. Blaine wanted to say something but words were senselessly caught in his throat.

"Do you know what a repressed memory means?" Kurt finally asked, causing Blaine's heart to be overworked with pain.

"It's a memory that has been blocked from the mind because of how painful or traumatising they are," and now, there was a furious fire burning in Blaine's throat as his mind conjured up a thousand possibilities to why Kurt brought up this topic.

"Is Sadie Hawkins a repressed memory?"

Blaine had looked down at his coffee-cup. He shrugged though he knew the answer and he knew Kurt would be able to tell. "Yes," he finally admitted. "I don't remember much of it at all. It's just a constant haze of _what if_s that kind of get me into a loop. We ask ourselves questions we don't have any answers for, Kurt. What if I didn't do this or that and what should I have done? I never blame people, Kurt. I always blame _myself_, for things that I have no control over, and you do too."

Kurt shut his eyes. Apparently, he'd been linking it to something else. "I'm sorry I'm not quite ready, Blaine. Sebastian would've jumped in bed the second he had a chance had it been you asking him."

"Speaking of _that_ handsome devil," Sebastian had pitched in; walking into their table with a cup of what Blaine knew instinctively was a latte, with that singular shot of Courvoisier in its warmth. He sat down just beside Blaine. Blaine remembered how Sebastian smelled like – he always smelled the same. His perfume was a dark, distinctive _Fahrenheit Absolute_. Kurt's scent was largely based on the rich _Bulgari Black_. He remembered once Sebastian had made a snippy comment about Kurt actually smelling like a man. "Yes, Blaine, I would definitely jump at that bed of yours at any chance."

"Go home, meerkat," Kurt snapped back.

"Why not? I like sitting here and reminding you of each other's rapidly declining relationship," Sebastian finally said with a far too jovial tone for words. "Can I smoke in here?"

"No, you _can't_," Kurt scrunched up his nose at the thought of smelling lung cancer-causing smoke in the air. "Rapidly declining?"

"Oh, puh-_lease_," Sebastian said in a gruff, taking a swig of his coffee to calm his tension down. "Your love is damned selfish and mistrustful. Look at Blainey over here. He'll probably make you something from scratch for Christmas and then he's gonna give it to you with the hope that if you ever end up in a nasty break-up, then you have some sort of physical reminder of whatever you two had, something you can touch when you're feeling like drowning yourself in ten gallons of Ben and Jerry's. And don't think that I don't know how that's like."

Blaine's heart was racing as Sebastian got up to leave. Kurt had just shook his head with a roll of his eyes. "How did he know that?" Blaine hurriedly said. "I am going to give you something from scratch for Christmas and yes, it is…so you can have something to touch to remind me of you, but how did he…?"

"Don't worry yourself," Kurt huffed back in response only for his eyes to dance on diamonds. "You were going to make something for me? Come on, tell me. I promise I'll act surprised when I open it. That happens quite frequently because my Father _cannot_ shop for me for any given ocassion."

Blaine chuckled before shaking his head, causing a frustrated Kurt to curse.

"I want to get you something I made…just so I can be more _real_ to you," Blaine explained with those soft, sultry eyes. "Because it _all_ feels like a dream sometimes with you," he looked down at his coffee. "This is going to be as cold as shit."

"Blaine Anderson, you are an _angel_," Kurt shook his head in complete and utter disbelief, and then there was a sudden flash of guilt collecting in those eyes.

Blaine realised why in that moment, because Kurt was reluctant to have sex with this so-called angel. They would talk about this later, but for now, Blaine sipped his coffee and to with a positive grin on his face, he said, "I thought someone didn't believe in God. You can't call me an angel if you don't believe in God then I must _not_ exist in your world. That's bad, Kurt. I'm _right here_."

"Shut up, Blaine."

"I can't shut up if I don't exist."

"You must be the devil. Considering I'm an atheist, most people probably think that I worship the almighty black Lord anyway."

"Voldemort?"

Kurt sighed, shaking his head and taking a swig of his coffee. "I was talking about Satan."

"Kurt, you can't worship Satan. I don't know what to get you for a _Satanic Christmas_."

"This is getting old, Blaine."

Blaine shook his head. "You're _still_ smiling, so you _still_ find it adorable," and so, then, was a twinkle of something a lot like attraction. "_You're_ adorable," Blaine said in a near breathless whisper that echoed in Kurt's mind. There was a soft fluster of flattery painting Kurt's cheeks as he smiled back at Blaine to ensure the love that was filling in the air that cold Sunday afternoon.

* * *

_I'm still thinking of different ways to kill someone. Is poisoning Sebastian quite enough? _

Blaine shook his head as his eyes darted across the classroom to look at Kurt, whom had his iPhone underneath his textbook and was typing vigorously, another complaint no doubt to either one of the Glee girls that clattered the classroom.

_I saw Sebastian today, _Blaine typed back. _He was singing to the Beatles and his eyes glow the same way your does when you sing the Beatles. May I remind you that that is I realised that you were amazing, Kurt. He's just as amazing._

_Are you banging the meerkat already, Blaine? _Kurt frustratingly typed back from the room. Kurt shot a cold look towards Blaine whom just shook his head with that good humour in his eyes.

_I am just assessing character. Sebastian has something nice buried somewhere in that darkness but I'm fortunately not a good digger, _Blaine typed back, trying to adjust his direction back towards the question sheet they had for the Great Gatsby.

_I'd rather use that shovel to try and break some logic into his head. _Kurt had responded and then he sent another text. _Would you like it more if I was as assertive as Sebastian then?_

_Yes, I like Sebastian's assertiveness, but I LOVE you. _Blaine had a smile that can light up a five hundred watt light, as he looked over at Kurt to notice him flushing. He tried to hide away from public eye, no doubt thinking of anything other than the small text message Blaine had sent.

_Sweet talking me, Anderson? _

_I suppose I should leave that for bed then, _and that was when Kurt looked like he was turning more purple than pink, like Blaine had hit a spot that he shouldn't have. Kurt had shoved his phone away and hadn't answered Blaine's text for a while then. When Blaine had caught him straight after Glee, Kurt had only looked at him for a moment, his mind in that dark contemplation. "You never asked me if I loved you enough, and that's why we aren't having sex," Kurt had honestly expected for Blaine to not be as compassionate.

Blaine's eyebrows furrowed. "Kurt, love, you _do_ realise that I honestly believe that you love me all the same as I do, and that you're just not physically ready to give yourself to me?"

Kurt's cheeks coloured. "You are a gem, Blaine."

"At least you _believe_ in gems, Mr Blaine You're Such an Angel," Blaine pointed out this time with a sickeningly sweet smile. "…so, will you tell me _why_ you're so hesitant? I don't mind, Kurt. I won't judge you. I _can't_ judge you."

Kurt curled up his lower lip for a while.

Blaine shut his eyes. "I was aggressive when I came onto you in the bar, wasn't I? Kurt, I honestly am still so angry and disgusted at myself for—"

"Blaine, don't you dare blame yourself for this," Kurt snapped coldly at his curly-haired boyfriend, as he sighed. "And that makes _one_ of us," he murmured under his breath.

"What?" Blaine's eyes glittered with a haze of nothing more than just confusion.

"You _can't_ judge me," Kurt pointed out. "But how many times have I judged you? Just forget it. It's stupid. This whole reasoning is ludicrous and—"

Blaine pulled Kurt's chin up to stare into his eyes. "Repressed memories…memories that are blocked that has happened because of a traumatic or painful event," he ran his finger down towards Kurt's lower lip, and then Kurt had nodded his head slowly.

"Karofsky," Kurt murmured. "I block out memories, and the _pain_ associated with _them_. I don't want you to take me because I don't want to be in such a _vulnerable_ position. It is a horrendous turn-off for me, and on top of that, _that's_ why I couldn't dare let you touch me on that night. It was…far too much for me to handle."

"So you blame yourself," Blaine concluded, his voice soft. "For something you had no control over."

Kurt slowly nodded his head, with a soft chuckle. "Aren't _I_ a piece of work then, Blaine?"

Blaine chuckled. "I have a need to ask you why you couldn't just ask if I would let you take me."

"Oh, puh-_lease_," Kurt rolled his eyes at the obvious age difference between them, 'so _I_ can feel like a completely paedophile."

"You're Satanic, remember?" Blaine concluded in a fake-jokey manner, his lips curled up in a gleeful manner. "That shouldn't matter."

"Blaine," Kurt's eyes turned into soft seriousness. "Just one more thing, are you _sure_?"

Blaine shut his eyes. "Sebastian might be right, you know," he finally admitted. "Our love may be selfish, mistrustful. You won't let me spend a second with Sebastian without threatening to tear off his nails manually from how jealousy and fear that I'll dump you for him. Our love _is_ selfish, Kurt. We have nobody so we hold onto each other, but is that so _wrong_? If I want to be selfish, there is nobody in the world I'd rather be selfish with than you."

With that confession, he smiled. "Besides, I might tear the face off any guy who hits on you. And envy is a good thing. It means that you're afraid of losing me, and you're only afraid of using valuable things, Kurt."

"You're unreal," Kurt shook his head, still in apparent disbelief.

Blaine smiled weakly. "Do you remember that unreal dream I talked about? The dream you have to wake up from? Well, I don't know about you but I'm still dreaming. This…_this_ is going to make everything real."

So it happened that night in Kurt's house in the dark emptiness.

A lust awakened. They shared each other. Kurt had shut the door and had slowly taken off his clothing. With each discarded layer, Blaine had made gestures towards his watch to remind Kurt that this will take _forever_, only emitting an eye roll from Kurt. After Kurt's clothing was discarded, Blaine wanted to tell him that he was beautiful, but he couldn't find any words so he took off his own clothing and then he kissed Kurt. He kissed Kurt to remind him of how beautiful he was. His arms had found Kurt's neck, and Kurt's hands found Blaine's waist. Their kisses were long and left each other breathless.

Blaine had pressed himself against the bed. His body aroused with the feel of the warmth, and then Kurt was on top of him. It did not matter who did who that second, just that their bodies were so close, and they sung in silence. Blaine felt Kurt's cock in him, the thickness of him, aware of his own tightness, aware of everything, aware of the colours and the vibrations in his body – he felt nothing more than Kurt and Kurt can feel nothing more than Blaine, nothing else would exist. Kurt's thrusts were in line with Blaine's breathless moaning. It was more awkward than most stories, with Kurt stopping every few minutes to ask him if he'd been hurt, but the fact that Kurt had the control did not worry Blaine at all. There was no repressed memory to forget, nothing, just nothing at all, the black void they can construct beautiful things with.

Then they lay beside each other. They stared into each other's eyes and then they kissed once more to seal the promise of something they can't really remember. Then they stared into each other's eyes, in that way just to tell each other how it felt with a gleam of their eyes. Two boys walked across the sidewalk, hand-in-hand, not judged by anyone in the world.

"What if this doesn't last?" Kurt finally asked, mind-blown at the surrealism.

Blaine smiled, though this question usually did not emit a smile from him. Kurt smiled back with every word Blaine said. "Does that matter right now? With us holding each other right now, does _anything_ matter right in this very moment?"

And in that moment, it was _not_ a dream.

* * *

_All this cheese I just can't feel my hands anymore and I need them I have a summative in 1.5 days FML_

_xo Peanut Butter/Sam_


End file.
